Receiving Forgiveness

There are two sides to forgiveness: giving and receiving. Although at first sight giving seems to be harder, it often appears that we are not able to offer forgiveness to others because we have not been able fully to receive it. Only as people who have accepted forgiveness can we find the inner freedom to give it. Why is receiving forgiveness so difficult? It is very hard to say, “Without your forgiveness I am still bound to what happened between us. Only you can set me free.” That requires not only a confession that we have hurt somebody but also the humility to acknowledge our dependency on others. Only when we can receive forgiveness can we give it.” —Henri J. M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

Forgiveness is not a one-way street—it flows in two directions, and often, the reason we struggle to forgive others is because we haven’t fully received it ourselves. Henri Nouwen reminds us that receiving forgiveness can be just as humbling, if not more so, than offering it. It means admitting we’ve caused pain and that we can’t undo it on our own. It means acknowledging that our healing depends, in part, on someone else’s grace. But when we open our hearts to truly receive forgiveness—whether from God or others—we begin to taste a freedom that softens us. That freedom empowers us to release others as we have been released. If you find it hard to forgive, first pause and ask: Have I really let myself be forgiven? Let that grace wash over you—and from that place of mercy, forgiveness can finally flow outward. —DH